Once I read an article, and wish I could remember the source. But it was done by a woman who was terrified of commitment because she was afraid that she would eventually grow to hate everything that made her love the man she was with. She had done some studies to prove that this was common in divorces.
Ever since I read that article, I developed the same fear.
He was loving.He was supportive.
He was my best cheerleader.
I loved that about him.
But eventually that support was present only because he was so self conscious and believed that everyone's actions were more important than his own and were capable of accomplishing more in life than he ever could.
His cheering however uplifting, came from a lack of personal goals in his own life.
He was calm.
He always had his life in order.
I loved that about him.
But eventually it became clear that the organization of his life was easy because he left his life bizarrely simple, without any goals.
He was so calm because he wasn't chasing his passions or anything with ambition.
Im sure that the shift in loving these qualities to loathing them is a matter of analyzing your partner as time passes.
And it's a sad thing to comes to terms with.
To be honest, it has made me question and change what I look for in a man because of this realization.
But what is come down to is:
Love changes.
And people change.
I will not feel guilty for wanting more.
